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Rialacha Teach Mhorgunna

The goblin that laid the platinum egg

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Ok … so not my most … sophisticated moments in the game as a dungeon master. Sometimes one needs to get a bit gritty a bit earthy. It is the game master's obligation to their player's to confront their players … even in the smallest of details.

For those who don't know … my players are continuing their way through the introductory campaign, “The Lost Mines of Phandelver.” One of the tropes that seems to have their place in the firmament of D&D, is to take into the fold of the party is a monster … a kobold or goblin that offers aid. And in LMoP, he is Droop. This goblin was brought into the party, with a wary eye.

He has been soooooo much fun . Droop has allowed me as the DM to make comments and interact with the players an move the plot along. But he along with all this, is just a lot of fun.

One of the things that I love Droop do is steal. And he's good at it. He causes a lot struggle with the party's relationship with almost everyone they meet. Neverwinter City made them keep him on a leash. The Barbarian has joined Brother Will in an effort to get Droop on the path of the straight and narrow. They are on many occasions trying to instill the concept of “thou shall not steal”upon the little goblin. And when confronted with his actions, they have demanded that he make restitution. Now in an effort to be fair the party has given Droop a fair share of treasure, so he has funds to pay. But as a point of character, the Goblin, having little past experience with material wealth or commerce, Droop is struggling with the mystery of commerce.

After doing this several times, the players began to wonder … where is Droop getting all that platinum?

I hadn't really given it any real thought. But the more the players asked … the more I wondered … where is he getting this steady supply of money. Vince, a bit of a thief himself, started to … with each act of attrition, check the contents of his purse. In a discussion on our Facebook page, Jim made the comment … “It seems as if he is pulling it out of his ***.”

On the way to work, for some reason this stuck in the back of my thoughts. I see the Forgotten Realms as a very high magic campaign. Most high level NPCs have more than one wand and such. The more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. So the next time it happened and the players confronted Droop, he told them.

I had him explain that he had before they all met that he had in tow with the bugbears, made a couple of visits to Glasstaff's hideout. On one of these visits, Droop snuck into the mage's private quarters, and there found a ring. It was tarnished, so the goblin took it and polished it on his tattered robe. In his words, a blue man appeared and offered him a wish. (At this point, Jim shouted, “RING!!! I don't remember any ring … where is it?” and rechecked the parcel from that adventure.) The creature was most anxious to have him give his wish, explaining that with this lash wish he would be free from the ring. (Jim sighed and said with great disappointment, “Oh!”) Droop replied by saying that he wanted to see the blue man free. He in turn said, “Then make a wish.” But the little fellow hadn't a clue what to wish for and with the growing impatience of the blue man and his own self doubt, he asked what most people wished for. The response was to be rich. So Droop wished to be rich. The blue man asked how rich he wanted to be.

Droop said a phrase he had heard all his life … his only concept of riches, “ I want to be so rich, I poop platinum.”

Will laughed long and hard. Not at the situation itself, but in the fact that for the time since starting to play, he had never seen Jim so stupefied.

He stuttered and said … “I've handled some of that platinum .. so … so … I was handling …”

We were playing on the Fantasy Grounds VTT. We were not facing one another, but with imagination, we could imagine Jim's face and Will's smile.

Now in closing, I have … like all DMs have had to google different subjects, but figuring how much a goblin would poop and converting it's weight to currency, is one of the strangest things I have ever had to researched. This also opens other possibilities. What if a greedy soul finds out abut Droop's secret. What if it's some pasha sends agents to kidnap him. What if a conniving tavern wench uses her feminine wiles to ensnare poor Droop? Will he survive becoming obese? Is there Weight Watchers in the Forgotten Realms. I don't know. Only time will tell. But I do know this …

Be careful what you say to your Dungeon Master … he might just add it to the game.

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Tags: d&d 5e, platinum


  1. mhorgunn's Avatar
    Just to satisfy the curious ... Droop poops two coins a day at present.
  2. MarianDz's Avatar
    funny ;)

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