From The *Somewhat Twisted* Mind Of Dulux-Oz

I draw inspiration for the torture - sorry, adventures - I put my players through from many sources; movies, books, magazine articles, and of course, songs. Swamp Witch by Jim Stafford is one of my favourites - it’s a “southern, Louisiana-style” slow ballad that just drips with adventure ideas and plot. If you can, see if you can locate a copy and have a listen - you’ll be glad you did!

In the meantime, I’ve written out the lyrics here to provide my fellow Torturers - sorry, GMs - with some potential inspiration. See if you can come up with an adventure idea more evil - sorry, exciting - than what I put my players through.

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Black Water Hattie lived back in the swamp,
Where the strange green reptiles crawl.
Snakes hang thick from the cypress trees,
Like sausage on a smokehouse wall.
Where the swamp is alive with a thousand eyes,
An’ all of them watching you!
Stay off the track to Hattie’s Shack,
In the back of the Black Bayou.

Way up the road from Hattie’s Shack
Lies a sleepy little Okeechobee town.
Talk of Swamp Witch Hattie
Lock you in when the sun go down.
Rumours of what she’d done,
Rumours of what she’d do,
Kept folks off the track of Hattie’s Shack,
In the back of the Black Bayou.

One day brought the rain and the rain stayed on
And the swamp water overflowed.
’Sqeetes and the fever grabbed the town like a fist;
Doc Jackson was the first to go.
Some said the plague was brought by Hattie,
There was talk of a hang’n too!
But the talk got shackled by the howls and the cackles
From the bowels of the Black Bayou.

Early one morn ’tween dark and dawn,
When shadows filled the sky,
There came an unseen caller
On a town where hope run dry.
In the square there was found a big black round
Vat full of gurgling brew.
Whispering sounds as the folks gathered round,
“It came from the Black Bayou.”

There ain’t much pride when you’re trapped inside
A slowly sink’n ship.
Scooped up the liquid deep and green
And the whole town took a sip.
Fever went away and the very next day
The skies again were blue.
“Let’s thank ol’ Hattie for sav’n our town.
We’ll fetch her from the Black Bayou.”

Party of ten of the town’s best men
Headed for Hattie’s Shack.
Said Swamp Witch magic was useful and good
And they’re gonna bring Hattie back.
Never found Hattie and they never found the shack,
And they never made a trip back in.
’Twas a parchment note they found tacked to a stump
Said ‘Don’t come look’n again!’

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Thanks to Jim Stafford for an fantastic song.